I don't know how many are even keeping up with this blog, as my posts have been so few and far between, but I think I am finally ready to address something that has been a long time in coming. I'm hoping to see a good discussion of this, and if it's to be better accomplished somewhere else with more readership, so be it.
The question was asked some time ago how a pastor and his family appropriately balance their time. After pondering this whole topic for several months, and meanwhile having gone through a transition in the last year or more that begs the same question, I am ready to see this through. In fact, I NEED IT. We here in our own family are at an impasse of sorts, However, while it is certainly pertinent to pastors' families, I believe the principles here apply to any family, regardless of the husband/father's vocation. So here we go!
We all know that, after putting the Lord first of course, the primary duty of a husband is to be the care and nurture of his wife and family. Part of that is making a living wage. So how do we determine how much time and energy is appropriate, or even neccessary, for a husband to spend on making the money that supports the family? And how do we determine what is above and beyond that?
I'll leave it at that, and see where it goes. Thoughts??
3 comments:
I don't think this can be quantified, if that's what you're asking. 40 hours a week? 60? 80? Any hour count is arbitrary.
Some wives can deal with it if Dad is gone all the time. Some have to, like military wives. Some families need Dad to work two or more jobs to make that living wage, and you really can't argue with that whether or not you can "deal with it" personally.
Does she trust him not to hide from the family at work? Does he trust her not to demand time she doesn't really "need," however that's measured? That's going to make a difference too.
To summarize: I don't know.
I don't know either, but it must be entirely subjective. I have to be on my own for several days before I feel neglected, but I know women who go bonkers if the spouse is gone more than 9 hours a day.
It's the kids I worry about (mine, specifically). Girl2 has major melt-downs if she doesn't see her daddy for 2 days.
I don't know either, but I think it's something that needs to be renegotiated frequently, based on the needs of the kids and wife at various stages. And then too on whether there are outside demands beyond Dad's control for a season, particularly if they're necessary to get bread on the table.
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