What is reasonable to expect of CSPP husbands, as far as helping out the dear wife at home? And spending time with the family? Particularly, how does this play out for those who are pastors' families? It is lonelier, because we are more likely to be far away from grandpa & grandmas, aunts & uncles, etc.
How do we ensure the Mom's sanity holding??
I say this as I am about to, after a typically exhausting Sunday, take all of my eight children to the city an hour's drive away, leaving at 7:30 am, to attend 3 hours of co-op, do the library, have two baby teeth pulled for one child and the ears of two more children cleaned out by an ENT. Oh, and we have to do grocery shopping too, plus we'll be gone over both lunch and supper. Yeah, like that's sanity. For the record, my husband was going to be along for at least part of that party, but of course now he has a funeral on Tuesday and will be meeting with family tomorrow. Just had to throw that in, lest you think I planned to do all this alone on PURPOSE.
I'm telling you, where is MY "grandma-helper?!"
SO please, tell me how you all balance things between Dad and Mom, so that everyone is cared for, including Mom.
4 comments:
Here's what the dad in our house does when he's around:
--Baths for the boys (and often the girls, especially when I'm pregnant and not too good at leaning over and lifting people in and out of bathtubs).
--Bedtime for older kids when I'm nursing the baby off. This maximizes our time together without kids.
--Lots of teaching. He's much better at it than I am. He taught our daughter to read, does Latin with them, etc.
--Feeds and dresses people in the mornings when we have a new baby, until the baby is allowing me sort of decent sleep.
--Heads a baby housecleaning crew while I do the shopping on his day off, since I hate dusting and he hates shopping.
--All the icky stuff like yard work, garbage hauling, cleaning the garage, etc.
--Other stuff I'm forgetting or haven't even noticed.
--Most importantly, he never says or implies that I've got no reason to find all this trying just because it's my lot in life.
--And he's a real looker.
We don't have a grandma anywhere nearby either, so Dad really has to pick up the slack. I am very blessed to have one who understands this and does it so well.
I can actually echo much of Rebekah's list.
And I'll echo her prioritizing too: >>Most importantly, he never says or implies that I've got no reason to find all this trying just because it's my lot in life.<<
That kind of husbandly understanding can go a long, long way to easing a wife's burdens.
I'll take that and throw in "he serves as Head Disciplinarian when home, and occassionally comes home early to Deal with the People when things are Out of Control."
He doesn't do bath time unless absolutely necessary, but he graciously takes my phone calls, checks in on me throughout the day, takes me seriously, keeps my head in reality, holds my hand in public, and regularly tells me I'm pretty even when the mirror screams otherwise. :)
Gals, Awwwwww... what sweetie pies you have all been blessed to marry! I guess there are some men who 'get it' sooner and some who take longer to learn. But to be fair, I am not a recovering feminist, I have always been the way I am, just more idealistic and naive.
For what it's worth, once I watched my dad become a second career pastor and lived in the fishbowl both before and after his sem training, I decided I was NOT going to marry a pastor. And because I had always wished I'd been raised on a farm, my last hope was to marry a farmer. Alas, that isn't what the Lord had in mind. Apparently He thought I was uniquely qualified to be a pastor's wife, despite my protests.
So now, I am trying to plan and implement a home farm anyway. Yup, on the church/parsonage property. It's slow going, I must say, but my optimism is holding out. :)
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